If you’re a human who interacts with other humans, the odds are good that you know what it feels like to be jealous. Jealousy is being worried about being replaced, and it is no longer being attractive or having fun and exciting times. Jealousy is more likely to provoke anger and resentment. Most of us experience jealousy from time to time, but extreme jealousy can greatly interfere with normal functioning. It is more to do with mental uneasiness from suspicion of fear and rivalry.
Psychologists believe jealousy may have evolved as a mechanism to motivate us to maintain the relationship that contributes to our lives, and for our survival. It is about how much we value and appreciate people in our lives. It can also lead to negative consequences. Thanks to our advancement in technological connectivity which makes it easier to figure out the reasons to feel jealous.
Jealousy is not envy. Jealousy can be similar to envy, which stems from resenting others who have something you don’t have and you want to possess that, but it has a different cocktail of symptoms. Envy is a reaction of lacking something. For instance, your friend has a new iPhone and you wish you were the one having it. That’s envy. Whereas, jealousy usually involves people and relationship and not things. It is a fear of losing the affection or attention of someone to another person. It is a three-person situation. For instance, you are giving your friend a silent treatment because she hung out with other girls instead of you. That’s jealousy. Relationship which is important is threatened by someone else outside the relationship.
There are different types of jealousy, such as normal and abnormal. Normal jealousy includes romantic jealousy, work jealousy, sibling jealousy, friend jealousy or parent-child jealousy. Abnormal jealousy is a baseless kind of jealousy triggered by no possible reasons except for psychological problems.
Your body and mind reacting to jealousy; it’s stressful to be jealous.
Emotional and psychological effects
Some of them are over possessiveness, low self esteem, feeling of bitterness, prolonged sadness & extreme anxiety, insomnia, mood swings, fear of losing something or someone, feeling threatened and constant worrying.
High blood pressure, headaches, back pain and stomach ache.
The good news is that you don’t have to be a magician to cope with jealousy. Instead, you can free yourself with simple ‘do anywhere’ techniques.
- Allow yourself to feel jealous – acknowledge it
- List down the pros and cons of feeling jealous
- Challenge your inner critic
- Communicate directly – talk about the feeling
- Self care practice: write down the list of positive traits,
meditate or do yoga, spend ample amount of time
in your favorite hobby
- Seek professional help – consider a therapy
Interested in the LeanonMe app? Download it here.
AUTHOR: Sneha, Associate Counsellor