Failure doesn’t necessarily mean that we have reached the dead end; it perhaps could be looked at as a detour before taking the needed recourse. History, time and again reminds us that no great achievement came about without the key ingredient …FAILURE. Truman Capote, an American Novelist, short story writer and playwright quoted –”Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavour”.
Fear of failure has gripped the hearts of many in today’s fast paced life, whichever facet of life one may be in. Setbacks or hardships whether in academics, career, business, relationships and the likes are being looked at with the lenses of ‘probable doom’ or no hope. Success is always plated beautifully and served, while failure encountered and endured in that journey to success lies latent beneath. Our societal system tends to recognize only successful people, successful missions and anything to do with success matters. Stories of success need to be told with highlights of failure and rising from it; how failure most times is a part of the journey before stepping onto the ladder of success and can give us that much needed push to thrive on and finally win.
Through the ages failure has been demonized and we have been led to believe that failure marks the end of any pursuit. Yes, failures can have negative consequences, there is embarrassment and fear when we face failure, our sense of self worth can crumble and hence, we tend to conceal it deep down. For many of us, failure is distressing, a crippling emotional experience and if not dealt with rightly, can even push one to the farthest end of self-destruction.
If we do know and understand life well enough, it can be matched to the likes of quite a complex functioning machine or system. Complex systems are not failure-proof, they can fail. In fact they are bound to, at some point or the other in time. The questions is, are we prepared enough for failures, do we have it in us to take them head on and handle it with grace; are we resilient enough, are we building ourselves to what some big systems and huge corporations call a fault-tolerant system? Building such a system can apply to life as well.
Someone has aptly said, “We are our failures as well as our successes”. We go on to become the best version of ourselves because of and despite our failures. Simple and effective ways in which we can face failure and cope with it could be;
- Identify possible hurdles, plan for them, learn, adapt and re-work on them to emerge even stronger and resilient.
- Build a strong support system or network, talk about it and unburden the pain instead of dealing with it alone.
- Separate the failure from your identity, not letting it define YOU.
- Not dwell on it and keeping a check on your thoughts.
- Not be afraid of being judged and letting go of the need for others’ approval.
Failure brings in persistence, resilience, the will to take risks and to try again and again. It can perfectly line us up to walk the path to success, as nothing is always easy. It is an effective teacher and every failed attempt is a rich learning experience that can help perfect one’s further efforts. The choice always lies between letting the setback kill the zeal or derail dreams, and using it effectively to redefine the roadmap to success.
If you are going through a difficult phase in life and need assistance to handle it, please reach out for professional help. We at LeanonMe will be happy to help you.
AUTHOR: Portia, Lead Counsellor
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